Just keep pinning…

Being a chronic insomniac, I have a lot of time where I don’t want to be doing anything that will involve my brain too much and keep me awake but lying in your bed when you can’t sleep is torture!

One of my default activities when I’m awake at 1am is to play freecell, one of the card games that comes as standard with virtually every version of Windows still in current usage. It’s not particularly taxing but the repetition of moving cards around is sometimes enough to make me drop off.  Although the fact that I’ve played about 5,000 games in a year does say something about the level of my insomnia…

But the other thing I have discovered which keeps me somewhere near sane (not entirely sure I can claim to ever have been totally sane) is one of the newer social media networks on the block…

Pinterest

For anyone who has yet to discover Pinterest, it allows you to create a virtual pinboard of images from the internet, pretty much any image you want, and organise them onto different boards. All the images are then available to repin and are categorised in to Art, Design, Home Decor etc.

Whilst in abstract it sounds spectacularly uninteresting, it’s actually a bit like a tube of Pringles. One you pop, you can’t stop! Or in this case, once you pin

I have ten boards and one of my favourite categories to explore is Home Decor as I’m moving into my flat in the near future (I’m getting there but procrastination is my favourite trick!) and want to do some redecorating. One of things I have discovered is that in an ideal world I want a really big, white, country style kitchen. I think I must have over 50 pictures of those alone.

But here are some of my favourite other pins which include a gorgous chair from Graham and Green, crafty ideas and what looks like the most incredible cake ever…

Recipe for home made lemon sugar body scrub

Recipe for home made lemon sugar body scrub

Graham and Green pink velvet slipper chair for one's boudoir...
Graham and Green pink velvet slipper chair for one’s boudoir…
Whimsical Bakehouse cake

Whimsical Bakehouse topsy turvy cake

What do you do when you can’t sleep? And if you have ventured into the world of Pinterest, what are your favourite pins?

Average Josephine x

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Finding yourself…

I feel sometimes like I have failed at life.

When I was younger I had a set idea of the woman I was going to become.  I would go to university, have a successful professional career as an accountant or a lawyer or something similarly prestigious, meet a wonderful man, get married and maybe have a couple of kids plus the obligatory dog.

By the age of 31, I thought I would have at least reached the getting married part of this plan but with one thing and another, it’s not quite worked out that way.

I have a career, albeit one I’m not really sure I want. I am an exam qualified accountant, all that stands between me and the three letters that signify six years of hard work is a mountain of paperwork and whilst it seems ridiculous to let so much hard work go to waste, I do wonder whether accountancy is the right career for me.  Whilst part of me loves the rules and structure that it has, the lack of freedom and creativity is a bit stifling.  After all, creativity within accounting tends to be frowned upon…

So a successful career, that’s definitely not a checked box on the list.

As for being married, well having been single for nearly six years, that isn’t looking likely in the near future. And bizarrely this bit doesn’t bother me that much. I have stages where I want a relationship but to be honest, if I live on my own for the rest of my life, I’ll be OK with that.  I have my cats and my friends, two adorable nephews who I’ll get to be the crazy aunt with and that’s enough.

So whilst the married box isn’t checked, I’m kind of OK with that.  And the kids box we’ll be leaving unchecked as well. It doesn’t make me feel less of a woman but I can’t help but feel that other people are disappointed in me for not settling down and having a family and having a conventional life.

The biggest issue I have had over the past few years though is that I haven’t been happy.  I’ve been the opposite of happy for the most part and the fact that I have put so much pressure on myself to find this perfect version of myself hasn’t helped but I have never understood why.

"Life isn't about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself" George Bernard Shaw. Photo: Samantha Hadadi

"Life isn't about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself" George Bernard Shaw. Photo: Samantha Hadadi

But when I saw this quote by George Bernard Shaw I started to realize exactly why I keep failing at these expectations I have set.  I set these ideals according to my parents’ expectations of me when I scarcely knew who I was, let alone who I would become. I’m never going to find this “perfect version of myself because she doesn’t exist; she never has.

My life is mine to create and whilst I admit there have been some twists and turns I didn’t anticipate and would rather have been skipped, they have helped create the woman I am today.

We all come into this life as a blank canvas. Nature and nurture help determine what the picture looks like but eventually the only person who determines whether the picture is a true work of art is ourselves.

A little too much of my life has been this:

Edvard Munch "the scream" Source: Wikipedia

Edvard Munch "the scream" Source: Wikipedia

I guess we will have to see what the final artwork looks like…

If your life was a picture, which picture would it be?

Average Josephine x