Taking a battering

What many people don’t know about me is that my blog isn’t the first thing I’ve tried writing. When I was younger I was a voracious writer. By the age of fifteen I’d written two stories which were long enough to be described as books. Don’t get me wrong, they were melodramatic crap (I was a teenager, enough said), but to have written that sheer volume of words is, in my book, pretty impressive. All I wanted to do was to be a writer, to be able to spend my life moulding words for a living.

But as I got older and the pressures of life and the prospect of having to get a “real job” loomed, my writing was the one thing that fell by the wayside. A lot of it was due to the fact that as my poor depressed brain got sicker and sicker, my confidence dropped lower and lower until I had so little faith in myself as a person, let alone as a writer, I couldn’t face this thing I loved becoming one more thing I failed at.

And then nearly half a lifetime later, I discovered Twitter and through that the world of blogging. It took a couple of false starts before I started this blog and although it doesn’t have the biggest readership in the world, I am so grateful for each reader and each comment I get. I might never reach my dream of being a professional writer but having an outlet and a way to express myself is invaluable.

So when nearly two weeks ago, someone accused me of stealing copy for having offered to blog for a brand they had already covered (despite the fact that it was for a new and totally different product) and responding to two Twitter-wide tweets for bloggers, the little confidence I had gained was pretty much obliterated.

But the thing I have come to realise is that when faced with such baseless accusations, it shows much more about the person making the accusation than it does about you. Whether this blogger was worried that she’d lifted some copy or just generally insecure and worried that another blogger might produce a better post than her on a similar subject, I don’t know but unless someone has lifted copy directly from your blog, my vote would be to not accuse people, especially when you’re not aware of all the facts. It creates a lot of bad feeling and could do long-term damage to your credibility as a blogger.

As for me, I’m still very hurt, angry and upset. I’m even more upset that the issue has caused some serious damage to a long-term friendship which may well be irreparable. I’m not the sort of person to have a million and one friends so to have one take our friendship so lightly is something that hurts immensely. And the blogger? Well, time will tell what happens but it’s one time I really hope that Lady Gaga was right:

Lady Gaga "Karma" quote

Average Josephine x

7 thoughts on “Taking a battering

  1. Oh Jen! Similarly passion for writing was pushed aside in order to survive in the big wide world, but thankfully after a year of hard work, determination and a fair amount of luck, I can say I am now earning a small income from what I love doing. One of the biggest lessons I have learnt through this lash year of writing is that as a writer you have to take the rough with the smooth. Sadly it seems there are a huge amount of people out there who have nothing better to do that criticise. Perhaps you are right, it is because of their own insecurities and actually it speaks volumes more about them than it does you. Jump back on that horse lady, hold your head high and crack that whip! :o)

    • I know there’s a certain degree of developing a thicker skin but I was so devastated by this particular accusation. I think people forget sometimes that there is a real person with real feelings doing the writing; the one downside to the internet. But at least I’m writing and getting back on the horse. And trust me, the whip will be cracked!! Thanks Sally x

  2. this is a really interesting read. I blog also, it’s a hobby aside from my full time career in advertising. Despite numerous amounts of very lovely nice bloggers i have of late been utterly gobsmacked at another bitchy, immature and totally over dramatic side too. People accusing people of being haters for having opinion, accusing people of having similar blog lay outs or content like in your case. I just am really shocked at this completely different side – no sister hood and support just faceless bichiness and belittling. It’s really sad. At 24 i seriously thought this was something that only happened to 13 year olds at high school. it’s really disgusting. And i know some bloggers are still young, 16 -20 YO, but still, have some humility.

    Anyway, good for you for writing this post. Ignore the accusers / haters who are bringing a down side to this otherwise wonderful community and industry. It just shows a terrible side of their persona, more fool them.

    Mel. UK Style Blogger
    http://www.mediamarmalade.com
    @mediamarmalade

    • Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate you taking the time. Like you this is a hobby for me, I do have a job (I’m not sure I’d call it a career at the moment) so to have my blog belittled because it isn’t a business venture is slightly frustrating. I have been very lucky in that I haven’t had issues with bitchiness like this before but I do know that it is alarmingly commonplace. I think sometimes it’s easy to forget that this blog you’re criticising is actually written by a real person with feelings that are being hurt!
      And I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. I’m 31 and whilst I’d love to say that the bitchiness gets better, it really doesn’t! Just something that happens when girls get a bit competitive unfortunately…
      Thanks for reading and commenting, I hope you come back and read any new posts.
      AJ x

  3. ENOUGH SAID. KUDOS LADY GG!! I did not “get her” until I learned about her message and viewpoint. If you want an OLDER retro example of championship for everyone… check out CANDYE KANE… and her insanely talented guitarist LAURA.. on you tube. lady gg is not new.

  4. That’s terrible! What ridiculous behaviour. Lots of blog content is very similar, for instance if I blog about cupcakes I’m hardly being original am I! People need to grow up. Don’t let it get you down :-)

    • I agree with you. If we’re going there then technically I was blogging first so surely they shouldn’t be doing it at all?! Totally ridiculous. I’ve just written the person off as being insecure and paranoid and I’m just so cross that she put our friend in the middle with her thoughtless actions.
      Thanks for the comment and the support, much appreciated.
      AJ x

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