Dear Angelina

A polite request to Angelina Jolie:

We’ve never met. Nor are we likely to (thank God). But something has come to my attention which I feel I must share.

You are 36 years old. In other words, old enough to know better. Your partner was nominated for an Oscar and is widely considered to be one of the best looking men on the planet (I will confess, I don’t see the attraction myself). So it’s not like you’re looking for a bloke. You have children (many, many children) who will see these photos reproduced every time Oscar season comes around who will wonder “what on earth was she thinking?” and probably endure a certain degree of derision due to them.

More than any of this, you are a well-respected, Oscar winning actress and widely acclaimed humanitarian in your own right. You regularly top the sexiest women in the world polls run by lads mags such as FHM. So, why, please, why did you need to stick your leg out of what was a very nice (although somewhat dull) Atelier Versace dress like a ten dollar hooker?

Due to the split in the dress a certain degree of leg-flashing would be expected but to make sure that every time you stepped in front of the camera you were flashing your right leg (which now has its own Twitter account) was just tacky. In addition, whilst I understand that when working in the industry you do a certain degree of self-promotion is to be expected, to stand there when called to present an award, effectively¬†saying “hey, look at my legs, I’m going to take up more of the press tomorrow than half the winners of these statues will” makes you look incredibly cheap.

So please, look up the word “elegance” in the dictionary. And next time you think about trying a stunt like this, remember it. PLEASE!

Thank you and I hope to never see so much of your right (or left, for that matter) leg ever, ever again.

Average Josephine

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